hari_klia, but I am your mother, 2022

fine arts – final project.
university of the arts, UdK, Berlin

the installation consists of:
– she is your mother, 110 x 85 cm, autostereogram, digitally printed directly on 3 mm Forex
– but I am your mother too, 110 x 85 cm, autostereogram, digitally printed directly on 3 mm Forex
– her, digital c-print, 110 x 210 cm
– us, digital c-print, 120 x 164 cm
– family portrait, digital fine art print, 20 x 30 cm
– letter to you, handwriting, A4
– 2-hours-sound-loop (ambient, elecotronic, calm, piano, the artist’s voice)

we are in a room. it shimmers. pink. in rainbows. it is long and narrow. soft electronic music resounds through the room. a voice. it speaks and tells about itself. about us. it is about queer lesbian parenthood. about motherhood.

the artist became a parent only a few months ago. but the german state does not recognise this. why. and what this does to us. hari_klia explores this in a multimedia installation. of photographs. stereograms. a letter. a voice. color. and sound.

Not every human is equal.
Not every human has the same rights.
Not every human has the same opportunities.

“Such recognition by a woman is foreign to German law.” – so wrote the registrar who did not want to accept my parental recognition. At the same time, I do have it quite good. I am privileged. I am white, cisgender (at least on paper), academic, as my first language I speak German. And to my great legal advantage – despite the disadvantage of not being cis-male – I also have Austrian citizenship. In Austria it is possible as a lesbian couple to recognize both mothers as parents directly at the birth of the jointly wanted child. For this purpose, only a form has to be filled out and the birth-giving- mother has to agree. This is also the case in Germany for hetero couples, but unfortunately not for homos or queers or for all those who are not hetero. In Germany the non-birthing mother has to adopt her own child. This has countless consequences. Not only does she have to wait at least eight weeks(!) until she is allowed to make the application, no, she is not allowed to make it at all, but a notary has to do it for her. That costs money. And time. And nerves. Then the office of children and family services and the family court decide whether the child can be adopted. This can take up to two years. And if the two mothers are not married or officially partnered, they would have to have been living together in a marriage-like relationship for at least four years. It could be that my partner and I have been together “too short” and therefore adoption would not be allowed. PS. gay men have it even harder.

• Article 19 of the Introductory Act to the Civil Code (EGBGB), paragraph 1, sentence 2: “[The parentage of a child] may also be determined, in relation to each parent, in accordance with the law of the State to which that parent belongs.”
• The European Court of Justice says that a relationship between child and parents recognized by one EU state must also be recognized by all other EU states (see judgment of the Court of Justice (Grand Chamber) of 14 December 2021 in Case C-490/20).

Read more:

• lsvd.de/de/politik/lebensrealitaeten/regenbogenfamilien-anerkennen
• nodoption.de